I wanted to fill you all in on what life has looked like for me since I was assaulted on the beach in Tanzania.  It has taken time and a lot of prayer to begin to trust the intentions of strangers again.  I find myself tense and anxious every time I’m walking the streets or in a large crowd.  It has taken so much energy to always be on the defense, my spirit poised like a fighter ready to strike at the smallest startling movement.  My trust in mankind is slowly being renewed with every day that passes…  thank you all for your prayers and words of encouragement.

Through this experience I have started to look at my life a little different and have started to worship and thank God in a completely new way. I have come to the realization that my life is not my own- that I have chosen to give it away to serve our God….and in doing that I have to swallow the idea of not always doing what I want or getting the things I expect in my life.  I now have a greater appreciation for the blessing of simply having the very breath in my lungs and the chance to live for another day. Through this I have been filled with great joy from reveling in the little moments that might have commonly gone unnoticed. 

Last week started a new chapter for the team; we left Tanzania and headed north to Uganda for month #8 of our journey. We were all in dire need of a few days to recover from the trials of Tanzania; so we headed to the banks of the Nile River for a short getaway. We spent 2 days bungee jumping and rafting down some of the most wicked rapids I have ever seen in my life.  Okay,  not relaxing I admit…..but just the thing I needed to release the fighter in me that wanted to take on the world with my fists clenched.

The first day I found myself on the top of the bungee platform, toes curled around the edge of the dive plank with the guide counting down from three to one…. I was seconds away from leaping off a giant tower over the Nile- what was I thinking!?  As I leaped into the air a rush of freedom filled my body that released the buildup of fear that had been lingering for weeks. As I opened my eyes to absorb the incredible landscape, God reminded me that I was not alone; that the freedom I was experiencing was from Him; that the life that was being poured into my spirit from witnessing his creation was also a gift- it was a landscape that was built by His perfect design, it was breathtaking. In these moments I knew that God has created me to keep leaping off the largest cliffs, to praise Him through the darkest of trials, to never settle for ordinary, and keep running after His unique purpose for my life.

On the second day, we all suited up for a full day of rafting. The river was incredibly high which meant that the rapids were pounding with aggression- there was a high likelihood that most rafts would flip more than once during the day.  The river wasn’t technical & littered with rocks and obstacles like Washington waters, but rather; they had large holes and consecutive drops that could toss a 10 man raft over faster than you can blink your eyes. We charged through class 5 rapids and even had to put-out and walk around waterfalls and class 6 drops at times. After a machete to the throat and bungee jumping I was ready for the most intense rapids the Nile could dish out. I’ve never felt so alive! 

Towards the end of the day, our guide Nolan began to brief us on a rapid we would encounter called “The Bad Place.”  This was a rapid where there is no option of staying attached to the boat- it was sure to destroy and spit out any boat that went through it. So…naturally, I was begging to hit it head on! Nolan decided it was best for the whole boat to try to stay right of the rapid and attempt to stay upright since there was a 50% chance of getting slammed into it anyhow due to the unpredictability of mother nature.  As we approached “The Bad Place” we all tucked down into our safety position, bracing ourselves for what the rapid had to offer. As Nolan hit the right side of the rapid, it felt as though the left side of our boat was hanging over a ledge of water that was greedily anticipating our fall into the heart of it. Sitting in the front of the boat allowed me to stare at the core of “The Bad Place” head on with wide eyes and great respect. We made it out exactly as Nolan had planned, boat never flipped, all members of the crew still on board- We were ecstatic!

Every moment of this day was a reminder of how amazing God’s creation is-  and how our God is one who has built us for true Freedom! Through witnessing the beauty of the land, sharing great laughs with friends, and breaking the chains of fear- I’ve never been so excited to live for God!

Where do you come alive? Are you living in freedom?

"....where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." - 2 Corinthians 3:17

With a Machete at My Throat: Life looks a little different

I write this account of what happened to me 24 hrs ago to bring glory to our God; for He has delivered me from the hands of evil and spared my life. He is a God who loves me and has never forsaken me. He is the mighty protector and redeemer. Here it is my story…

It was Monday, July 19^th... 5 days after team Seven was robbed at gunpoint in Dar Es Salaam, Tanzania.  I have been with team 7 from the day the robbery took place; praying peace over them, for joy to return, holding them as they cry and sharing precious moments of laughter together.  As I poured my heart out to them, I cried out to God to help me understand, to truly feel their pain, and to understand their heart with raw and true empathy.

On this Monday, we were set out to truly relax and find peace after such a traumatic incident.  We were located at a beach resort that looked like it was from a picture in a Caribbean cruise magazine, it was beautiful & peaceful. I hadn’t taken a moment alone for myself in months, so I set out to run along the waterfront so I could worship God and thank Him for sparing the lives of my teammates.  Moments after I began my run I noticed a man walking along the beach behind me, but I refused to be filled with fear so I continued onward…..The second time I turned the man was in a full speed run towards me.

My heart sank with fear and I realized that I had nowhere to run, no one to run to, no shelter, no weapon, just faith in the Lord and the power of prayer. The man grabbed me from behind and started to frantically grab and hit at my chest; in that moment I assumed the worst…..that robbing me wasn’t his motivation. As I stopped in my panic I found a large rusted machete at my neck and face.  I screamed “Oh God please, please don’t kill me…take anything that you want… Take it all….”  My eyes were fixated on the large blade that was threatening my life in a way that disabled my basic motor skills. He continued to pursue and hit at my chest, at which point I sobered up enough to realize that my i-pod was in his hands and that my headphones were caught up in my shirt. After he successfully retrieved my ipod he continued frantically yelling at me in Swahili; he wanted the watch from my wrist.  With weak hands I took my watch off as quickly as possible and the man immediately took his machete and ran away.

I turned and ran back to the resort as quick as my legs could move me, barefoot and sobbing.  A local man on the shore who witnessed the whole thing, and refused to come to my rescue yelled out to me and wave, “Good Afternoon Miss.!”  He said this with a crooked smile and laughed as if I was his entertainment for the afternoon….his deceivious tone chilled my bones, and in that moment, the only words that I could muster was “Mugu Akubariki” -  Swahili for “God Bless You.”

I praise God that I wasn’t hurt, and that an i-pod and watch was all that was taken from me. I praise God that he answered my prayers and now I know every emotion team 7 must have gone through. I praise God that he relentlessly blesses my life with amazing people and amazing experiences. I praise God with every ounce of my being for the grace and love he pours over us daily.  I praise Him for every waking moment I get to serve Him and love others in the nations. I thank him for each life on the N squad....Thank you for your continued protection, as not a single one of us has been hurt in these incidents. Daily He is showing me to live vibrantly, live joyously and without fear. Thank you Jesus.

Psalm 27:1-4

 1 The LORD is my light and my salvation-
       whom shall I fear?
       The LORD is the stronghold of my life-
       of whom shall I be afraid?
2 When evil men advance against me
       to devour my flesh,
       when my enemies and my foes attack me,
       they will stumble and fall.
3 Though an army besiege me,
       my heart will not fear;
       though war break out against me,
       even then will I be confident.
4 One thing I ask of the LORD,
       this is what I seek:
       that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
       all the days of my life,
       to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
       and to seek him in his temple.

US Bound: May He Go Before of Us

Over the past month and a half, the N squad has been put through many trials. We have been hit hard with various diseases and illnesses including Malaria, Typhoid, Ovarian Cyst, Pneumonia,  Ecoli, ulcers, lice and various others.  I write this in confidence that our God already has victory over any attacks that may be coming our way.  On the other hand, if it is the Lord who is challenging us…..I rest assured knowing that as we persevere through these challenges, we will look a little more like Christ when we come out on the other side of these trying times.

One of my teammates has been very ill for the last month and she has been in an out of 3 different hospitals; numerous visits each. She has shown traces of Ecoli in her system and will go into intense body spasms every time she eats. Today she was unresponsive to me until I physically shook her to consciousness - she goes in an out of extreme pain and cramping multiple times a day and does not leave her bed. I will be flying with her back to the United States tonight.  We will leave from Nairobi, Kenya and fly to Amsterdam- connect through Seattle and arrive in her hometown of Sacramento, California this weekend. Liz has been an incredible trooper this last month, and I believe God is going to use this challenge for His glory & continue to show her how faithful he is.

Please cover us in prayer as we travel back to the US; that our flights will be on time, that she not have any stomach spasm episodes on the flights home, that her pain be minimal, and that the US hospitals can assist her with a fast recovery.  I pray that his hand be over every portion of our journey, may He give her peace during this time.

Thank you for your prayers!

So they set out and went from village to village, preaching the gospel and healing people everywhere. Matthew 9:6

This month His word has really come alive.  Through our experiences in Kenya, He has really shown me that by our faith, truly ANYTHING is possible.

In the past, it seems that I have so easily accepted the miracles that are written within the confines of the pages in my bible- but that I never considered that God would move on the same magnitude in our present day. His word speaks of barren women who are blessed with children in their old age. It speaks of Moses parting waters with an outstretched hand, Jesus who raises Lazarus from the dead and heals those who have been bleeding for more than 12 years.  It speaks of the blind who see & the cripples who walk. It accounts for the disciples who were given authority to cure disease, drive out demons & heal the sick. 

  All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. Matthew 28:18-20

If the bible is our foundation, then why is it so hard for us to believe we would see these things happen in our present day? Seeing and believing that the things of the bible could come alive put me at risk for seeming crazy or overly religious…. I had put God in a box- and expected Him to move on my conditions. Here are some stories of how he has broken out of the that box….. He is a Sovereign, Living God who is pursuing us!

When Jesus called the Twelve together, he gave them power and authority to drive out all demons and to cure diseases, and he sent them out to preach the Kingdom of God and to heal the sick. Matthew 9:1-2

 

So we set out... to the slums. Tyler happened to look a little like Jesus this day. Not purely by his physical similarities, but by the anointing that was on him. One of the women he met was an elderly woman who was losing her sight and basically had become blind. He laid his hands on her eyes and prayed for her vision to be restored. When he finished praying, the woman looked at her hands and her face lit up. She spoke in Swahili to the pastor and the pastor relayed her words to him. She said "I can see."

I wanted to share all the things that have been taking place this month; as my mind and faith have been completely expanded from the small box that I kept God in. I know that talking about miracles and healings of the Lord can be very controversial to some; but I pray that these words speak to you & that you remember these stories if they are from God, and may you forget them if they are from any other source. Thank you for your support and love! May you be blessed!

How lovely is your dwelling place, Oh Lord Almighty....

African Father's Day

I’m Alive!

From the moment I landed in Niarobi Kenya, my spirit has been overwhelmed with joy. I have never felt so alive!  We spent the first week in Africa having our debrief with the entire squad; where we worshiped together, sat with our teams to discuss their health, decompressed from the last three months of ministry and fellowshipped together. Our squad coaches Dave & Bernadette (amazing couple from Holland!) stayed with us for the week and blessed us by imparting wisdom on us, loving us unconditionally, sharing their lives & laughing with us. It was a great week!  It was incredible to come together again and see our squad of 52 people and witness the transformations that have taken place over the last 5 months. There are some that are so different that I feel as though I might need to introduce myself to them again. I am in such awe of who my teammates are; and who they are becoming. I am amazed at how God continues to use us to bring love & truth to the nations. He is so faithful to always provide and fill us with joy and strength amidst the most difficult situations.

I have been staying in the home of an African pastor named Moses this week and I absolutely love learning the ways of this culture- his family is amazing.  The people are welcoming, the food is good, and the church services are full of life; singing and incredible dancing! It is easy to feel the Spirit of God in this country through the joy that is flowing from these people.  This week God has really shown me the complexity & beauty of His creation through the simplest things.

 The things of Kenya that have made me feel ALIVE….

-       Holding the hand of an African child

-       Washing my clothes in a bucket; hang dry on the line; sunshine & blue skies

-       Hearing the drum beat of African music - feeling the heart beat of God

-       Dancing in church completely free & undignified

-       Red clay between my toes

-       Hearing uncontrollable, contagious laughter of African babies

-       Watching the World Cup with Pastor Moses’ Family

-       Feeding Thomas the Giraffe

-       Riding an Ostrich

-       Feeling my heart melt purely from exchanging smiles with a curious child

        I'm Alive!

MEN Pt. 2 - Awaken!

When processing through the horrible things we witnessed in the Red Light District-Thailand, I found myself to be in a completely different emotional state than most of my teammates.  It was common for the women of my squad to come home angry, frustrated and at times even crying from what they experienced.  I attributed my emotional stability to the fact that God gave me great hope for the Red Light district.

Yes, I did have great hope -but God then revealed the real reason I wasn’t broken hearted at first…. I had become numb and emotionally dead towards men years prior to stepping foot in Thailand.  I truly started to believe a voice in my head that was saying….

“This is JUST how MEN are- This is just how they will always be.”

I write this to any women who might be believing this lie, as well as any man who is willing to read this.  

This is NOT JUST the way Men are…, and certainly not how they were created. Men were made in the image of God, and our world is in desperate need of men rising up to walk this out.  In the bible men are called to be leaders in the church and the family, called to speak the truth of God boldly. I am not saying that women need to step back, lose their voices or leadership capabilities…But I am saying, MEN - WE NEED YOU!  Women need men who will rise to the challenge, speak truth, and walk into your God given authority. When you are walking like a mighty warrior, we run that much harder towards Him. We need men that display a backbone, men that bring Kingdom wherever they walk. We need loving fathers, strong husbands, and leaders of this generation. I do not want women to believe the lies & scars that worldly men have set upon their hearts. This generation needs you, the world needs you! Awaken!

God has revived my heart from the bruises of Thailand by puting14 men in my life who have taught me what a man of God looks like.  They are walking into the call God has for them daily, they are growing into strong leaders, and are the definition of honor.  It is so easy to respect these men- purely for being who they are created to be.  I am so proud to call them my brothers…. Thank you for being obedient men to God, for He has used you to revive places in my heart that were dead.

 Men Pt. 1

While working in the Red Light District in Thailand, we have been connected to a ministry called SHE. Their mission is to empower the women working in the bars & prostitution by providing career training programs, English classes, and creating a positive social networks for the girls to get involved in. During our time here, we have built some of the most incredible relationships with women working at the bars; it is amazing to see the impact that this organization is having in their lives. 

Ironically, while working for a ministry named SHE, my heart was torn apart for the men I met in Patong.  It was so easy to focus on women in this culture of sex tourism; but unexpectedly, God really focused me on the “Demand” side of this cycle….He called me to go out of my comfort zone and try to truly understand the hearts of the men - He asked that I look at them with the same love & hope as I had for the beautiful women of Bangla Road; that anger was not an option. This was not an easy task; but God really wanted to teach me how to love ALL his people. In part one of this series,  I would like to introduce you to some men I met in Patong….

Keith

Home Country: Australia

Time in Phuket: 1 week

Story:  Father of baby girl (1.5 years old) with his girlfriend from Australia. Age 24. Recently caught his girlfriend cheating on him; so fled the pain of his life and came to Phuket to get away.  When I met Keith he was running from the thai police, as we was selling illegal merchandise to make extra money while on his “getaway.” He was heavily intoxicated, anxious, and hadn’t slept in days.  He approached us while praying and inquired about what we were doing. After spending 2 hours with Keith over coffee sharing our life stories he not only had sobered up, but looked a little different in his spirit. God gave Keith a new hope for learning how to forgive and give God control & power to heal his brokenness.  Keith expressed an excitement and joy in the renewed strength he could take back home with him. He prayed with us and mentioned be felt a sense of peace and warmth come over him.  

He gained a new energy and desire to be a strong father figure, a renewed interest in being the one that was invested and involved in his daughter’s life.

Prayer:  That Keith will continue to look to God for strength and not temporary fixes such as sex & alcohol. That he forgives and doesn’t carry that burden with him. That God surrounds him with a caring community that supports him. May he walk into full freedom….

John

Home Country:  UK

Time in Phuket: 11 years

Story: John is divorced and been living in Phuket for 11 years. Age 47.  He helps manage a bar in Patong in the red light district and has several girlfriends that he purchases regularly. When I first met John, he mentioned that he felt as though he was doing a good deed by providing for the girls.  He explained to me that most of the woman sleep in a cement room together with all the other women and Ladyboys(men who dress like women) that they work with.  In a defensive manner he says to me; “If I pay for their food and give them a hotel to sleep in- this is a much better life for them than sleeping pack in together on a cement floor.”  I told him that I wasn’t judging or condemning him and he looked very surprised. John and I exchanged conversation and handshakes for the remainder of my time in Patong…

Prayer: That John will become a catalyst for change in the bar system in Patong. That he will look to God to fulfill his needs and not fear a true intimate relationship with a women, one that is founded on truth. God give him strength and a renewed mind.

Robert

Home Country: England

Time in Phuket: 20 years

Story: I met Robert while playing connect four with one of the bar women.  He sat at the bar with his hired girlfriend looking void of all joy. He is 62 years old and his Thai girlfriend is 23. I noticed him out of the corner of my eye and turn to introduce myself. Simply being interested in who he was; and not wanting anything from him except a good conversation seemed to surprise him. He opened up incredibly fast- he had been yearning for genuine attention for years.  He has been married twice, has 2 daughters (23 & 25 yrs old) and has been living in the bar lifestyle for 20 years.

Prayer: That Robert will meet people that genuinely connect with him, may he enter into relationships that are based on genuine love and trust. I pray that his hope is restored and that he finds the strength to reconnect with his family and invest in his daughter’s lives once again.

Marcos

Home Country: Germany

Time in Phuket: 2 weeks

Story: I saw Marcos sitting at the end of the bar for nearly a week straight before I engaged in a conversation with him. He was always alone; with the exception of the attention he was soliciting from the bar women. He was around 33 years of age, and had not displayed a smile the entire time I saw him. He looked lost and lonely. We talked about his job & his life.  He mentions “My job is S#it, Germany is S#it….I don’t want to return to the s#it that is my life…..”  He was running for everything.  I shared with Him what I am doing, and parts of my life story.  He didn’t believe that I was a Christian or a missionary- as he had assumed that all people who love God are boring and judgmental. I let him know that he isn’t condemned or judged for anything, that God desperately desires to know him. We prayed together before I left the bar and as I left he says “I would really like to do what you are doing some day….ya know, help people…..”   I replied, “Marcos, you still can…it isn’t too late.” As I waved goodbye I saw the first smile of the week.

Prayer:  I pray that Marcos follows his calling into a life/profession where he can used his desire to help others. That God would provide for him financiall, physically and emotionally as he makes steps towards that call. I pray that joy be restored in his life.

After 3 weeks of being immersed in a district run by the mafia, seeing old men holding hands with little girls, watching married men mesmerized by fleshly desires, witnessing my friends who work at the bar get purchased for the night & not know if they would ever return…..I became completely numb to this system. I did not realize it at the time….but my emotions became mechanical and completely shut down…..

In Part 2  I would like to share how God revived my heart from being dead & discuss the truths He revealed about men….

During my first week of ministry in Thailand, I was blessed to have had the opportunity to serve in a neighborhood that was classified as a "Leper Colony." Leprosy is something I had only read about in the bible and had little to no understanding of.....so, through my experience with these people, I wanted to share with you all a more detailed picture of what people with Leprosy are dealing with and who they are.

Leprosy has affected humanity for over 4,000 years; it is a chronic, mildly infectious disease caused by Mycobacterium, affecting the peripheral nervous system, skin, and nasal mucosa and variously characterized by ulcerations, tubercular nodules, and loss of sensation that sometimes leads to traumatic amputation.  Skin lesions are the primary external sign. Left untreated, leprosy can be progressive, causing permanent damage to the skin, nerves, limbs and eyes. Contrary to folklore, leprosy does not cause body parts to fall off, although they can become numb and diseased. As a result, the disease commonly deforms the hands & feet- appearing to look as though there are no fingers or toes.

Leprosy stigma is a kind of social stigma, a strong feeling that a leprosy patient is shameful and is not accepted normally in society.  

Not only are these people dealing with pain of disease in their bodies, the emotional drain of constant doctors visits, and the fear of watching their physical body deteriorate before their very own eyes- but there is a judgment that society has put on them. This condemnation is birthed from fear and a lack of knowledge.  People turn their heads away from them, look down on them, and forget that they exist.

I want to introduce you to a friend of ours who shows what it means to truly be content in any situation; what it means to have faith; and how to receive and give the love of God. Lim is a man who has dealt with the pain of disease and abandonment from society for over 40 years. He is living proof of the following passage. You will see through his life that God's burden is light and His yoke is easy not matter the challenges you come across...

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

Matthew 11:28

May you be blessed by his brief testimony….